Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

Discussion regarding Jane's Addiction news and associated projects
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Larry B.
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Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#1 Post by Larry B. » Fri Jul 22, 2016 8:01 am

Sturgeon's Law says that "90% of everything is crap." Based on that, a band whose non-crap production is highler than 10% is exceptional, and the higher the percentage of non-crap production, the more exceptional or greatest a band is.

So, let's analyse Jane's Addiction's catalogue.

XXX:

1. "Trip Away"
2. "Whores"
3. "Pigs in Zen"
4. "1%"
5. "I Would for You"
6. "My Time"
7. "Jane Says"
8. "Rock n Roll"
9. "Sympathy"
10. "Chip Away"

Now, which of these songs could be considered crap? The scientific criteria I'll use is that "crap" will be any song that could've easily been played/recorded/composed by any old high-school band, or that is lazy, generic and/or rubbish. A song's likeability doesn't matter.

Crap songs: I Would For You, Jane Says, Rock n Roll, Sympathy, Chip Away.

That's 5/10, or 50%. Pretty good, especially for a debut album. On we go.

Nothing's Shocking:

1. "Up the Beach"
2. "Ocean Size"
3. "Had a Dad"
4. "Ted, Just Admit It..."
5. "Standing in the Shower... Thinking"
6. "Summertime Rolls"
7. "Mountain Song"
8. "Idiots Rule"
10. "Thank You Boys"

* Jane Says and Pig's in Zen weren't considered, as they have already been counted and these versions don't differ much from the originals.

Crap songs: Had a Dad, Standing in the Shower, Thank You Boys. That's 3/9.

That's almost 67% non-crap, really remarkable. The cumulative result is 8/19, or around 42% crap. This band is in their early days, but really looks exceptional.

Ritual de lo Habitual:

1. "Stop!"
2. "No One's Leaving"
3. "Ain't No Right"
4. "Obvious"
5. "Been Caught Stealing"
6. "Three Days"
7. "Then She Did..."
8. "Of Course"
9. "Classic Girl"

Crap songs: Obvious

That's 1/9, an incredible 89% non-crap. This album is scientifically fantastic. The cumulative result is 9/28, 32% crap. 32% crap in a universe where the norm is 90% crap! This is possibly the best band ever.

Kettle Whistle:

1. "Kettle Whistle"
3. "My Cat's Name Is Maceo"
5. "So What!"
8. "Slow Divers"
14. "Whores"
15. "City"

Crap songs: My Cat's Name is Maceo, So What, City

That's 3 crap songs out of 6, a 50% crapiness just like in XXX. A regression when compared to Ritual, but it was only to be expected after such a masterpiece. The cumulative result is 12/34, a 35% index of crapiness. What a great band this is. What makes me the most happy is knowing that they're so good, nothing can possibly go wrong.

Strays:


"True Nature"
"Strays"
"Just Because"
"Price I Pay"
"The Riches"
"Superhero"
"Wrong Girl"
"Everybody's Friend"
"Suffer Some"
"Hypersonic"
"To Match the Sun"

Crap songs: True Nature, Strays, Just Because, Price I Pay, The Riches, Superhero, Wrong Girl, Everybody's Friend, Suffer Some, Hypersonic, To Match the Sun

That's... 11/11. 100% crap. I thought Price I Pay would make the cut, but apparently it didn't. That intro and the ending fuck up the song, according to the researches. But OK, nothing to be concerned about. Just a forgettable album. The cumulative result is 23/45, or 51% crap. Still far from the 90% crap that surrounds us, but now the majority of their songs are crap. Maybe if they call it quits right now, we'll still have the memories of the good times

1. "Underground"
2. "End to the Lies"
3. "Curiosity Kills"
4. "Irresistible Force (Met the Immovable Object)"
5. "I'll Hit You Back"
6. "Twisted Tales"
7. "Ultimate Reason"
8. "Splash a Little Water on It"
9. "Broken People"
10. "Words Right Out of My Mouth"

Crap songs: Underground, Curiosity Kills, Irresistible Force, I'll Hit You Back, Twisted Tales, Splash a Little Water on It, Broken People, Words Right Out of My Mouth

That's 8/10, or 80% crap. No bueno.

The final cumulative total is 31/55, or 56% crap.

It only took them two albums to go from 32% crapiness (i.e., 1 every 3 songs would be forgettable - AKA the Radiohead syndrome) to 56% crapiness (every other song is shit - AKA the RHCP syndrome).

If Jane's Addiction kept releasing albums with an average of 90% crapiness (as it could be reasonably expected, based on Sturgeon's Law and the result of their two most recent albums), it would still take them more than 5 albums to reach a 90% of overall crapiness. Their first three albums were that good.

So, there you go. Perhaps this explains why we stopped currently liking the band but aren't completely embarrassed about liking their good albums.

Coming soon: An assessment of Perry's complete output. Any predictions?

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sinep
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#2 Post by sinep » Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:09 am

So you have time for all of this but no time to post in my "Larry has moved!!!" thread????

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sinep
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#3 Post by sinep » Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:10 am

I'm going to go through all of the threads from this year, and I guarantee that this thread will be in the "90% crap" category.

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Larry B.
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#4 Post by Larry B. » Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:49 am

sinep wrote:So you have time for all of this but no time to post in my "Larry has moved!!!" thread????
Even this shit was more entertaining than your thread.

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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#5 Post by creep » Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:35 pm

Larry B. wrote: Crap songs: I Would For You
this is where you lost me...

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kv
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#6 Post by kv » Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:43 pm

yep

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Matz
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#7 Post by Matz » Fri Jul 22, 2016 2:49 pm

I apologize Larry, I can see you spend some time on this. But this is not what I'd call a "deep study". Its you telling us which songs on the respective albums you think are crap and which aren't. Personally I don't think there's any crap on the first four discs, so I'm not on board. Well, I'm down with the TGEA sucks part of course

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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#8 Post by clickie » Sun Jul 24, 2016 3:17 pm

Do porno for pyros next, i'm curious which songs you consider crap.

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Larry B.
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#9 Post by Larry B. » Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:58 am

You guys lack scientific objectivity. I love I Would For You, but it's a crap song that anybody could've written. Lazy arrangement, teenager lyrics, poor recording. I love it, but it's quite poor.

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Bandit72
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#10 Post by Bandit72 » Mon Jul 25, 2016 4:58 am

I would have to disagree with 'Obvious'. I get we all love the song, but I don't think any Tom, Dick or Harry could have written it.

clickie
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#11 Post by clickie » Mon Jul 25, 2016 5:30 am

Maybe peter, paul, and mary.

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Matz
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#12 Post by Matz » Mon Jul 25, 2016 5:35 am

Larry B. wrote:You guys lack scientific objectivity. I love I Would For You, but it's a crap song that anybody could've written. Lazy arrangement, teenager lyrics, poor recording. I love it, but it's quite poor.
you sure this Sturgeon guy is ok'ing all this? Calling Had a dad a crap song and stuff like that? I think "Larry's Law" works better

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Tyler Durden
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#13 Post by Tyler Durden » Mon Jul 25, 2016 9:38 am

Here's a more simple equation...

Jane's Addiction (- Eric) + Etty = Dog shit

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nestos
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#14 Post by nestos » Mon Jul 25, 2016 10:33 am

creep wrote:
Larry B. wrote: Crap songs: I Would For You
this is where you lost me...
definitely

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Larry B.
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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#15 Post by Larry B. » Mon Jul 25, 2016 12:16 pm

Obvious is one of my favourite Jane's songs, but it's pretty much just an instrumental thing that repeats over and over, adding more details after each cycle. It's not a song that really needed to be "written"; it's got no complexity and adds nothing to the world. I love it, but it's lazy - and thus crap.

You guys are letting your feelings and romanticism get in the way of this profound discussion. I still have a place in my heart for Green Day, but it's 90% crap. Something similar happens with Jane's... that's just the way it is. The truth will set you free, after pissing you off.

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Re: Jane's Addiction and Sturgeon's Law - A Deep Study

#16 Post by Tyler Durden » Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:47 pm

Me Larry. "Atmosphere" suck! "Eruption" rule! :dunce:





:jerkit:

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