mockbee wrote: ↑
Sat Feb 15, 2020 5:27 am
Larry B. wrote: ↑
Fri Feb 14, 2020 9:08 pm
That’s NOT a fucking poncho.
THAT is a poncho.
Dave is wearing bat wings.
Oh, this is so fortunate this came up......
Larry, I have a question for you.
I have wanted to ask you this for years, YEARS....
But I thought it would be culturally insensitive to do so, so I have refrained.
It was 17 years ago and I was in Newport, RI with my mother-in-law and my wife. We were touring The Breakers, which was one of many summer home mansions owned by Cornelius Vanderbilt. (See below) It was cold, and raining/misting and VERY windy. We were going to tour the inside, but it cost $24.99 a person to get a grounds + inside tour ticket. We had no money at the time, so it was ironic that we would pay a bunch of money to see the inside of some robber baron's old stupid house. And to add insult to injury. they wanted DONATIONS to keep the place up! Ha!....Anyways....back to the story....we all laughed at the prices, and we already walked in via some roped off area and we quickly ducked our heads in one of the grand rooms, and figured we saw enough of the inside anyways.....So a second ticket was available, and this one was $8.00 per person to tour "the grounds", which as you can see below, is NOT very impressive.
.......But, we had driven all the way from New York City to see The Breakers (not my idea, by the way) and we had to "see" something, so we got the tickets. I was pissed. So I go to the bathroom and when I come out I see my wife and mother-in-law had toured the gift shop, and they had three small plastic packages with them. I asked them what they were, and they said.....Ponchos. I said, those are NOT ponchos! They pointed to the package and it indeed said "Poncho". I couldn't argue. I said "How much did those cost?!" My mother-in-law said "$10 each"..... I about lost it.......That might not sound like a lot of money for a "poncho" but I knew we were not getting no PONCHO in some small plastic package. And, as I said before, we had NO money.....So we go outside with our "The Grounds" ticket and have to show multiple people our "The Grounds" ticket in order to have the privilege of seeing some gigantic patch of grass. Of course, this was on the INSIDE of the low stone wall, not the OUTSIDE, so the ticket price made a ton of sense............. As you can tell, we were not prepared for the rain and the blustery conditions, thus the "ponchos".... We open the small plastic packages, and just to my chagrin, it appeared we had purchased three large plastic garbage bags with 2.5 holes in each one. It said "BREAKERS" on them in large green letters, I guess so you didn't bring your own garbage sack, and put it over your head and obviously NOT pay for it at the gift shop.....I try to put mine on and have trouble. The hole in the top was too small, so I had to stuff my head through, and what ended up happening was the whole top seam ripped and it ended up to be a tube of a plastic bag. I wore this like a tube top dress with a knot tied at the front, because that's all I could do at this point. And to add insult to injury, there wasn't even a hood..... (Do regular/real ponchos ever have hoods?)........ So we're walking around "The Grounds" in these things and everyone else has their North Face/Marrmot/Helly Hansen GORE-TEX raincoats and expensive umbrellas....We round a corner and some older lady Yelps at the sight of us. She then said "Oh my goodness....you SCARED me in your costumes!" I said wryly "these are ponchos" (were they? WERE THEY?!!) We kept walking. It started getting REALLY windy and our "Ponchos" are having a hell of a time staying in tact. Mine is in tatters and is essentially a giant piece of plastic flapping in the wind behind me, I had to grip onto the right side to keep any part of it still covering me. I am soaking wet at this point and after about 15 minutes we were done. We saw the grounds. We got in our car and went to the Dairy Queen for hamburgers and blizzards.
My question to you Larry is, on that day, was I wearing a Poncho?
Or did we TOTALLY get ripped off?