Aint No Right

Where there is one rodent there is always another if the access is not blocked off. An exterminator for a house makes sense since I wouldn't want those critters in the walls but for a tenant building or apartment steel wool or aluminum foil in every conceivable wall, floor and ceiling opening will alleviate the problem of rodents in the living space.

Goddamn candlestick park is annoying me right now. They need a new stadium, why couldn't a Hunters Point deal have been made, I don't know the whole back story..assuming it came down to money. blah.

mockbee wrote: Goddamn candlestick park is annoying me right now. They need a new stadium, why couldn't a Hunters Point deal have been made, I don't know the whole back story..assuming it came down to money. blah.

Yeah, I was full on cringing throughout that debacle. What a way to showcase your city on a nationally televised sporting event.

We all know the place is a decrepit, crumbling shit hole but it's embarrassing to have the whole world know it...

So, I had a weird dream-night... a series of vignettes all on the same topic... all of which made me pretty bummed out... then I woke up early... and I'm out of Prozac... so I took a whole Risperidone... which is 2x more than I've ever tried and I only started on it, last week... so it's a kick to the face... and I'm shit-chugging coffee... and I just feel fucking weird... it's almost like a high... but without the fun... it's more of a downer-high. It's just squishy and fuzzy and weird... I'm just sorta out of it...

...anyway... yeah... today sucks... I wish I had weed... it's been too goddamn long since I've smoked...

Mouse story:

When I was 18 I moved with with a good friend in to my first apartment. He was a vegetarian and big animal rights guy. At some point we realized we had a mouse in our apartment. Over the course of the next few weeks we set the classic traps with peanut butter (despite my roommates demands), which the mouse would somehow eat and not trigger the trap.

Side note: At this same time, a third guy was sleeping on our couch because his parents kicked him out. One night, when very intoxicated on illegal substances at mutual friends house, this couch friend turned to me and said "when we get home I'm going to eat that mouse" without a hint of humor in his voice. This was one of those moments when I realized my life was not on the right course. (If Esqfool is reading this - this couch roommate was Ray).

Eventually my main roommate set out a glue trap to catch the mouse. One day, after work, I came home from work to an empty apartment. On the kitchen counter was a hand written sign in my main roommates handwriting stating "Da mouse iz in here." I was confused. In the apartment? No kidding...

So as I went about my afternoon I had the realization that the sign had probably been attached to something at some point and began the panicky search for where this guy had put the mouse.

Eventually I gave up trying to solve this mystery and went on the back deck for a smoke. It was there I found a trashcan sitting on the middle of the deck. I peered inside and found a very alive mouse accompanied by a yogurt covered pretzel.

When my roommate came home he explained that he found the mouse in the glue trap, untrapped him and put him in the empty garbage can. I asked about the pretzel to which he replied "he looked hungry." He had taken the sign off the trash can because the wind was blowing it away.

I asked my roommate what he wanted to do with it and he said "take it to the city where mice live." Neither of us had a car and we lived about 30 minutes outside the city. He took a cab.

I have eaten too many sweets today. I feel queasy...

-tiramisu
-carrot cake
-red velvet cup cake
-pannettone
-chocolates

I'm glad that Bob's on risperidone. You probably also need, or are on, lamotrigine (Lamictal).

I feel sad and worst because of some jackass

Fucking Christmas... fucking loneliness... fucking family...

I don't know how I'm going to make it through tomorrow... then the next day is worse... then the day after that is even worse... and then another biting shit day... and then I've got a whole 'nother fucking worthless trudge through 365 days of fucking shit... then I hit that birthday all over again... and the same fucking shit... although, really, it starts no later than Thanksgiving... and it'll only get worse...

anyway... I fucking hate Christmas with a fucking passion. My gift to my family should be sitting it out and fucking moping on my own terms. I feel like fucking murdering half of the people I'm going to be stuck with... there's not a single fucking upside to this wretched fucking holiday. If I had access to a button which would instantly stop the hearts of every living being, including myself, I'd hit it... "Oh, life's been good to you? Not anymore!"

Fuck happy. Fuck Christmas. Fuck family. Fuck people. Fuck capitalism. Fuck consumerism. Fuck Hallmark. Fuck Jesus. Fuck God. I'm so sick of this fucking obligatory faux-celebration. I have nothing to celebrate. Why should I be forced to put on a fucking forced smile to see people I can't fucking stand?

Turncoat wrote:Fucking Christmas... fucking loneliness... fucking family...

I don't know how I'm going to make it through tomorrow... then the next day is worse... then the day after that is even worse... and then another biting shit day... and then I've got a whole 'nother fucking worthless trudge through 365 days of fucking shit... then I hit that birthday all over again... and the same fucking shit... although, really, it starts no later than Thanksgiving... and it'll only get worse...

anyway... I fucking hate Christmas with a fucking passion. My gift to my family should be sitting it out and fucking moping on my own terms. I feel like fucking murdering half of the people I'm going to be stuck with... there's not a single fucking upside to this wretched fucking holiday. If I had access to a button which would instantly stop the hearts of every living being, including myself, I'd hit it... "Oh, life's been good to you? Not anymore!"

Fuck happy. Fuck Christmas. Fuck family. Fuck people. Fuck capitalism. Fuck consumerism. Fuck Hallmark. Fuck Jesus. Fuck God. I'm so sick of this fucking obligatory faux-celebration. I have nothing to celebrate. Why should I be forced to put on a fucking forced smile to see people I can't fucking stand?

that's the christmas spirit!

Why don't you go out and just not participate in your family's Christmas? They like it, you don't... that's ok, you know?

Larry B. wrote:Why don't you go out and just not participate in your family's Christmas? They like it, you don't... that's ok, you know?

That's a swell idea! Yeah, I'll put on those nice clothes I don't have anymore and hop in the car I don't have anymore... and go out to all of the places that are open on Christmas Eve... and hang out with all of the friends I don't have... and get drunk on the alcohol that makes me suicidal... and pay for it with the money I don't have... and maybe at the end of the night, I can take a girl who's into me... who also doesn't exist... back to my dad's apartment... for which I don't have a key... and have some awesome Christmas time sex with her on the single-size-bed in the living room with the mismatched makeshift sheets...

Hopefully she's into despair, being quiet, giving me a ride, then leaving early so I can go to sleep... hopefully the muscles I've completely lost, having not done any physical activity in nearly 3 months, will be up for the rigors of lovemaking. The fact that I haven't so much as hugged a girl in 8 months is probably only going to work to my advantage.

Hopefully my skin can handle the cold... just doing dishes has resulted in rashes and swelling on my hands... but I'm sure New England Christmas will be nice and mild... and it's a good thing, too... considering I have no hair, hats, jackets, or gloves... but I'm sure a hoodie will be more than enough...

...I can't go wrong!

If in order to go out you need a car and a specific destination with super best friends, you're a fucking pussy

If you REALLY don't like Christmas, get the fuck out of there and do something else. Or go to fucking bed and stay away from all that joy.

I say 'go out' and you say 'I don't have a car'?? Really??

What you need is a pair of balls. I'd suggest staying inside your house, maybe Santa will bring you some. Merry Christmas.

Well, the fact that I'm a miserable bastard, reliving my breakup via continuous anxiety attacks, can't drink, have no money, don't know the area, live between a mountain and a ghetto, and don't know how to talk to people anymore... I'm thinking trial by fire by means of a frostbitten walk through a little city which just broke their homicide record... on a night where there won't be many places open... and I don't know where to find anything anyway... and no way to get back home... may not the best thing to do when I'm already running my usual stress at 183% and the thing I'm trying to avoid is awkward small talk and wearing an insincere smile to appease family. It seems the likely reward of the alternative is a psychotic episode and an extended killing spree... so, I'll just see if I can lay in bed and eat my feelings.

...ho ho ho...

to survive your family why don't you film the event and turn it into one of your bob doom videos.
when i feel social anxiety in the type of situation you're talking about, i usually do stuff like cooking to avoid social interaction. it passes the time and makes the event more tolerable. i do say hello and do a bit of small talk when necessary.

hey, what about your niece? will she be there with your sister?

is there a homeless shelter or something where you could volunteer to serve christmas meals??

In lieu of my usual needlessly long reply... I'll just say no. None of those things are possible.

maybe since you are now living in such shitty conditions you will get motivated to actually change your life and get a job and your own place. let me guess...that's not possible too.

creep wrote: maybe since you are now living in such shitty conditions you will get motivated to actually change your life and get a job and your own place. let me guess...that's not possible too.

on the nose. I've unfortunately been reminded, in the past 3 months, of what I'd consciously decided to avoid. Those inhospitable conditions were actually preferable to the alternative... which are my current conditions. Superficially better, but psychologically unbearable. It turns out that the brunt of my insecurities, anxiety, and selfishness stem from this environment. I'm getting worse.

...Happy holidays!

No ice cubes and warm mix.

Fuckin' hell...

Artemis wrote:No ice cubes and warm mix.

Fuckin' hell...

Is it Margarita mix?

Sounds like someone needs to do a gas-station ice run.

Adurentibus Spina wrote:

Artemis wrote:No ice cubes and warm mix.

Fuckin' hell...

Is it Margarita mix?

Sounds like someone needs to do a gas-station ice run.

I wanted to have a vodka+tonic but the tonic water is warm.

There's a shop about 200 metres from my house, I will probably go buy some ice because I can't wait for the cubes to freeze in my freezer.

I'm bored at work. Let me explain:

It's a problem with two levels:

1) Today is my first day back from annual leave and I've managed to do all my reporting, clear out my mailbox ( - actioning everything, not deleting), I've followed up everything that I've needed to and can do, I've set up rosters for the year, tidied my desktop (computer, not physical - we have a clean desk policy). Basically I've been done from about mid day so I've been killing time here and on google talk (add me if you've got a gmail address and we can chat (nausearockpig@gmail.com)) etc..
So I thought that today would be hell what with all the catch up work to do, but nope, i'm done three or so hours early..

2) I'm generally bored with my position. I know the obvious answer is to find another role or job but I'm having difficulty doing that internally. I guess that now I have a bit more time on my hands, I can find that job and get over the hurdles holding me back (internal HR and client requirements) so I think that's what i'll need to do.

I know i shouldn't bitch cos it's not really that bad (first world problems and all that) but y'know, this is what this topic is for..

My sister

She has been away for 7 years now, no contact, nothing. We had no clue where she is, if she is still alive, we texted her in the first years, no response. I gave up. I have my own life, my family. I just could not care anymore.

Now she wrote a letter to my other sister claiming money from us. And not a bit, a lot. She will lose her flat, has no job, no money, nothing. No word why she refused to keep in contact with us for those 7 years.

What the hell does she expect us to do? What would you do? It makes no sense to give her the money (even if we had it available) It is like throwing it into the garbage. She never had a proper job, never "liked" to work. She was in hospital for 5 months, no word why.
I am speechless.

nausearockpig wrote:I'm bored at work. Let me explain:

2) I'm generally bored with my position. I know the obvious answer is to find another role or job but I'm having difficulty doing that internally. I guess that now I have a bit more time on my hands, I can find that job and get over the hurdles holding me back (internal HR and client requirements) so I think that's what i'll need to do.

I know i shouldn't bitch cos it's not really that bad (first world problems and all that) but y'know, this is what this topic is for..

I hear you mate... this is my issue too. I work in the travel industry and, whilst it's relatively interesting, I've been doing my particular role for too long now. The problem is that opportunities to move internally are minimal and external moves could potentially impact on my social time - basically i'd have to commute to change role / stay on similar, much needed, salary.

I'm fast approaching the point where i need to make a decision and i want my head to agree with what my heart wants to do... that's move to the coast - not a prosperous part of the UK by any stretch but a beautiful one and one that I want my family to grow up in.

So yeah, not a major problem to be honest... but it's one that has been growing and growing over the past 12-18 months. One life etc etc.

Warped wrote:My sister

She has been away for 7 years now, no contact, nothing. We had no clue where she is, if she is still alive, we texted her in the first years, no response. I gave up. I have my own life, my family. I just could not care anymore.

Now she wrote a letter to my other sister claiming money from us. And not a bit, a lot. She will lose her flat, has no job, no money, nothing. No word why she refused to keep in contact with us for those 7 years.

What the hell does she expect us to do? What would you do? It makes no sense to give her the money (even if we had it available) It is like throwing it into the garbage. She never had a proper job, never "liked" to work. She was in hospital for 5 months, no word why.
I am speechless.

That's a tough one for sure. I would reach out and say that I have empathy for her situation and would be willing to meet or talk to discuss what she could do and can provide emotional support but that finances are tight with raising a family and such. If she balks at that, then yeah, she just wants money and nothing else. Not much you can or should do there.

Sore. I have been working on a new work out regiment thru out my day for the past week or so and basically just kicking my ass but hey at least its working so that is good