off-topic conversation unrelated to Jane's Addiction
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chaos
- Posts: 5024
- Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:23 pm
- Location: Boston
#1
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by chaos » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:14 pm
When is the next one scheduled - Dec 2012? I need to open a business!
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.
FAQ
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured?
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
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Pandemonium
- Posts: 5724
- Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:18 pm
#2
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by Pandemonium » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:20 pm
chaos wrote:
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured?
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
So Hell on Earth will be caring for other people's pets????
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Hokahey
- Site Admin
- Posts: 5489
- Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:51 pm
#3
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by Hokahey » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:42 pm
chaos wrote:When is the next one scheduled - Dec 2012? I need to open a business!
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.
FAQ
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured?
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
Genius.
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Jasper
- Posts: 2322
- Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:28 pm
#4
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by Jasper » Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:58 am
I've always wondered why such hardcore, fire & brimstone Christians would trust non-believers with their pets. You'd think they'd wanna leave their pets with Hindus or something.
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JOEinPHX
- Posts: 6698
- Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:55 pm
- Location: The Sea
#5
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by JOEinPHX » Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:28 pm
Jasper wrote:I've always wondered why such hardcore, fire & brimstone Christians would trust non-believers with their pets.
Because they are the same type of morons who believe in the rapture.
