Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

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cricket_bows
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Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#1 Post by cricket_bows » Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:20 pm

My father has always told me that when he was in his teens, he always knew two things: he wasn't going to keep doing the "Jew thing" (my lineage is Jewish, but my parents found their groove with Unitarianism) and he was "getting the hell out of New York" (they bailed from Williamsburg and Queens and hit Colorado shore in 1962 [I was born in '67, my sister '69]). I think it's sort of a cosmic accident where we're born versus where we're supposed to be. Colorado never resonated with my sister; she left when she was 18 and found her place in Vermont. Being a native, I've always been prideful of the Centennial State, but it's sorta been 'meh' for the last twenty (definitely fifteen) years as more and more people have moved here and the quality of life has taken a hit (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?)

We were schlepped everywhere as kids on road trips, one place of which was New Mexico, which of course as a nine year-old was boring as hell. Six years ago, my Pops and I did a roadie down to Albuquerque for the balloon festival, and the whole thing absolutely CLICKED for me. The light, the sky, the colors, the smell (PIÑON!), the food... it really is the Land of Enchantment for me, and I think I could see myself having a home base there after retiring.

I'm down here now for a two-day getaway, and as the ANR board is so worldly and eclectic, I was wondering if anyone else has had a NM spell cast on them, or in their travels came to a place where they said, "woah; there's something that really resonates with me here," where it sort of felt like you had come 'home' (and if neither of those, just that where you're at now won't be the place you spend your autumn years).

All-in-all, it's just more of an incentive to get my ass out the door and see more of the world; who knows- maybe I'll wind up spending my final days in NY as a Hasid! :lol:

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perkana
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#2 Post by perkana » Tue Nov 24, 2015 7:43 pm

For me it was New Orleans. I fell in love with that city. For some reason it reminded me of Mexico (the main square looks a lot like any square you would find here), the people were the nicest I've met in the US and the food was delicious. Oh yeah, music everywhere, I loved that.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#3 Post by creep » Tue Nov 24, 2015 7:49 pm

in my travels i could see myself retiring in southern oregon, idaho, sierra foothills, or if i hit the lotto...hawaii.

i have been back east and the midwest quite a bit and no way i could see myself there. i couldn't deal with the brutal winters.

i have never been to abq. i think blackcoffee used to live there.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#4 Post by Hype » Tue Nov 24, 2015 8:43 pm

I really badly want to visit the SW... esp. Phoenix/Abq. I think I'd be at home there. Culture-wise... I'm not so sure. Maybe Austin...

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#5 Post by kv » Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:48 pm

creep wrote:in my travels i could see myself retiring in southern oregon, idaho, sierra foothills, or if i hit the lotto...hawaii.

i have been back east and the midwest quite a bit and no way i could see myself there. i couldn't deal with the brutal winters.
yep yep yep that yep and yep

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#6 Post by mockbee » Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:28 pm

I had a Southwest spell cast on me when I was about thirteen. In college and subsequent years I would take every chance I got to drive and camp and backpack all over southern utah - canyonlands, escalante, hole in the rock road, dead horse point, dirty devil river, arches, capitol reef, bryce, zion, mesa verde, four corners.... Made it to santa fe, phoenix, albuquerque etc, but there was nothing like southern utah. I haven't been in about a decade now and wonder if it would feel the same, or if I am the same. Probably not, it just felt so open and free and limitless. Getting lost on backroads, trekking up random canyons, setting up camp near the edge of a rim or wherever, watching the sun set each evening, reading everything edward abbey ever published, stirring beans on a little stove and moving it every so often to get the 5 or so scorpions that would collect under the stove to scatter.

I've also always been fascinated by pittsburgh and anything industrial. I think because it seems things are actually made there.

I would like some property in a high desert area, probably SE oregon because then I could actually get to it easily on weekends. But I have to (really want to) live in a sizable city.

The west is definitely the best. :bigrin: :wink:

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Larry B.
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#7 Post by Larry B. » Wed Nov 25, 2015 5:30 am

I was born in the central region of Chile, but when I was 7 we moved to Punta Arenas, in the southern extreme of Chile. That's my place, the place that feels like "my" land, although we only spent 3 years there. The sad thing is that I'll always be a foreigner there as well, a "Northern." But it's only there that I truly feel at home.

When I visited Berlin, when I was 14, I felt really comfortable there. I felt "I could live here." I'll be going back there for this New Year's, which should be interesting. I also spent New Year's there when I was 14, 17 years ago. These are the only 2 times I will have spent New Years overseas.

And Edinburgh feels really homey as well. This is most definitely a place I could live in and raise my kids, if I ever have any. It's not going to happen, though. But this city makes me feel welcome.

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Romeo
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#8 Post by Romeo » Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:52 am

St Maarten. Definitely.
I need to live on an Island in warm temperatures.

Image

The most spectacular sunsets every night
Plus a TON of Americans live there! :wave: I would miss NY. A lot of it. And a lot I wouldn't miss at all

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Hype
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#9 Post by Hype » Wed Nov 25, 2015 8:07 am

I've also always been fascinated by pittsburgh and anything industrial.
I love Pitt. But it's not so industrial anymore. Beautiful city... the Cathedral of Learning. The food was pretty terrible though.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#10 Post by mockbee » Wed Nov 25, 2015 8:43 am

Hype wrote:
I've also always been fascinated by pittsburgh and anything industrial.
I love Pitt. But it's not so industrial anymore. Beautiful city... the Cathedral of Learning. The food was pretty terrible though.
Yeah, I would never want to live there because of the climate, and I would have nothing in common with the people, but the idea and history of the city really intrigues me, but even then I am not sure I could deal with how filthy dirty it was with all the industry and I have no interest in hunting. I was still fascinated by the place when I have been through a couple times. Who knows how notions come to be.... :noclue: :lol:

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Hype
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#11 Post by Hype » Wed Nov 25, 2015 11:03 am

Like Larry, I loved Berlin, but I think I was actually way more at home in Southwest Germany... the Schwarzwald, Freiburg-am-Main, Trier, etc. Couldn't say exactly what it was about it.

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Artemis
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#12 Post by Artemis » Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:40 pm

I feel most at home in London. In my early 20s I lived there for nearly 2 years and really loved it. I came back to Canada because my student visa was almost expired, and to finish the Hotel Management program I had started prior to going to the UK. Last year I was there for 3 weeks and didn't want to leave. Much has changed since the late 80s and early 90s when I was there, but the vibrancy and excitement of London still exists for me. Even though I complain about stuff like the crowded tube and poor customer service, I feel very comfortable and happy. I like the mix of old and new buildings, the accents, the transportation system, the theatre and music scene, the history, museums and galleries, pubs, parks, English humour, the river(love the Thames Clipper), the people from all over the world. Also, a car is not needed to live in London. That's important for me because I don't drive. I know London has its problems, and is very expensive place to live in;however, I still want to move there. :noclue:

A pic I took:

Image

I was born in Toronto and have lived here for most of my life. My parents are immigrants from the former Yugoslavia and settled here in the mid 60s. Like cricket, I too was born in '67. I think there are a couple of other '67 babies here too. I haven't lived any where else in Canada and so can not compare. Actually, I haven't travelled much in Canada at all. I've been around Ontario, a few places in Quebec, and St John's, Newfoundland.

I also think I could live in Germany. Berlin for sure, also Dresden, and Hamburg.

Wherever I end up, it has to be a city. I am an urban girl! :lol:

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#13 Post by cricket_bows » Wed Nov 25, 2015 1:50 pm

I knew this would elicit some cool responses! Amazing the lives people on here have lived.
perkana wrote:For me it was New Orleans.
Ironic- I know my sister also loves the Big Easy :bigrin:
creep wrote:i could see myself retiring in southern oregon
As an 18 year old, I developed a major crush on Ashland (great trail running!), and grok on Oregon as a whole, but wonder if my psyche could handle that much precipitation.
mockbee wrote:But I have to (really want to) live in a sizable city.
You, sir, have lived! I hear you, though- I'm conflicted in that I crave silence/wide open spaces/solitude, but I also need an infusion of culture, occasional human interaction and access to cashew ice cream.
Larry B. wrote:I'll always be a foreigner there as well, a "Northern."
I've heard this about southern France, as well; you could be there 30 years, and still be a newbie. It'll be interesting to see how Berlin impacts on you in December.
Romeo wrote:The most spectacular sunsets every night
Uh... WOW.
Artemis wrote:immigrants from the former Yugoslavia
I'm curious about this- have you been to Yugoslavia? If so, was there any connection, any kind of vibe where there was a strange familiarity? 'Though I know very little about specific Jewish holidays, I've wept when my father has busted out some Hebrew when my folks light a menorah for the holiday; I think some of this stuff is just deeply hardwired in us, regardless of how many generations we're removed from it.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#14 Post by blackcoffee » Wed Nov 25, 2015 3:38 pm

cricket_bows wrote:My father has always told me that when he was in his teens, he always knew two things: he wasn't going to keep doing the "Jew thing" (my lineage is Jewish, but my parents found their groove with Unitarianism) and he was "getting the hell out of New York" (they bailed from Williamsburg and Queens and hit Colorado shore in 1962 [I was born in '67, my sister '69]). I think it's sort of a cosmic accident where we're born versus where we're supposed to be. Colorado never resonated with my sister; she left when she was 18 and found her place in Vermont. Being a native, I've always been prideful of the Centennial State, but it's sorta been 'meh' for the last twenty (definitely fifteen) years as more and more people have moved here and the quality of life has taken a hit (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?)

We were schlepped everywhere as kids on road trips, one place of which was New Mexico, which of course as a nine year-old was boring as hell. Six years ago, my Pops and I did a roadie down to Albuquerque for the balloon festival, and the whole thing absolutely CLICKED for me. The light, the sky, the colors, the smell (PIÑON!), the food... it really is the Land of Enchantment for me, and I think I could see myself having a home base there after retiring.

I'm down here now for a two-day getaway, and as the ANR board is so worldly and eclectic, I was wondering if anyone else has had a NM spell cast on them, or in their travels came to a place where they said, "woah; there's something that really resonates with me here," where it sort of felt like you had come 'home' (and if neither of those, just that where you're at now won't be the place you spend your autumn years).

All-in-all, it's just more of an incentive to get my ass out the door and see more of the world; who knows- maybe I'll wind up spending my final days in NY as a Hasid! :lol:
I lived in NM for ten years. I moved there with a girlfriend. I remember the smell as we came over the West Mesa. I think it was a type of sage I smelled, but it was incredible. Albuquerque, in many ways, is like a truck stop. That said, the people and food are pretty amazing. I ended up meeting my wife there (a transplant from Cali like me), and we had some amazing neighbors who were just really good salt of the earth type people. The biggest issue besides the poverty and rampant drunk driving is that there is no water.

The fair in the summer has a stand that sells green chile corn dogs and they are fucking amazing also.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#15 Post by Bandit72 » Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:42 am

I was born in the UK's 2nd city but spent most of my childhood living in the beautiful Welsh valleys and the incredible French Alps. I still love living here in Birmingham. I have only seen good things happen to this city over the past 40 odd years. I have travelled extensively over the world and consider myself very lucky to have done so. I lived in Catalunya on and off for a few years in the 90's and now also consider that region of Spain as part of me as I have very good friends and very good memories there.

I would like to retire away from a big city, as to where I'm open to suggestions, but it wouldn't necessarily be the UK.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#16 Post by Bandit72 » Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:56 am

Larry B. wrote:This is most definitely a place I could live in and raise my kids, if I ever have any. It's not going to happen, though. But this city makes me feel welcome.
Hmmm, I've heard this MANY times! :wave:

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#17 Post by Japhy » Thu Nov 26, 2015 5:25 am

Born on the south coast of the UK and lived there until my folks went through one hell of a messy break-up. Long story short, ended up on the eastern side of the country and struggled to feel 'at home' throughout my late teens and early-mid twenties. What ultimately changed everything for me was (probably unsurprisingly) having kids... this is obviously their home and is 100% how i now see it. I love going away but always look forward to coming home... what a great thing that is to be able to say.

I've travelled pretty extensively and feel love for a lot of places but, aside from home, I have a couple of places in the UK which I'd happily spend time in over getting on a plane and going elsewhere.

So, what i'm ultimately saying is that where I am now is where I was supposed to be. :heart: :thumb: :heart:

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#18 Post by Larry B. » Thu Nov 26, 2015 6:06 am

Bandit72 wrote:
Larry B. wrote:This is most definitely a place I could live in and raise my kids, if I ever have any. It's not going to happen, though. But this city makes me feel welcome.
Hmmm, I've heard this MANY times! :wave:
I'm just hoping that Scottish football hits a new low so that I can manage Hearts or something and earn a few quid.

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Bandit72
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#19 Post by Bandit72 » Thu Nov 26, 2015 7:18 am

Larry B. wrote:
Bandit72 wrote:
Larry B. wrote:This is most definitely a place I could live in and raise my kids, if I ever have any. It's not going to happen, though. But this city makes me feel welcome.
Hmmm, I've heard this MANY times! :wave:
I'm just hoping that Scottish football hits a new low so that I can manage Hearts or something and earn a few quid.
Can it go any lower?

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#20 Post by farrellgirl99 » Thu Nov 26, 2015 9:55 am

perkana wrote:For me it was New Orleans. I fell in love with that city. For some reason it reminded me of Mexico (the main square looks a lot like any square you would find here), the people were the nicest I've met in the US and the food was delicious. Oh yeah, music everywhere, I loved that.
Same here, Perkana! I've been to NOLA 7 times now and just love it for all the reasons you mentioned. Sweetest people. I would move there in a second but the summer weather gives me pause.

I've lived in Queens my whole life and love it. But NYC is exhausting and too expensive. And the gentrifiers are slowly making their way into deeper parts of Queens and I don't want to see it turned into a whitewashed rich yuppie and hipster playground like Brooklyn. But I think it's inevitable and i should probably leave here before I see my home get taken over.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#21 Post by Larry B. » Thu Nov 26, 2015 9:58 am

Bandit72 wrote:
Larry B. wrote:
Bandit72 wrote:
Larry B. wrote:This is most definitely a place I could live in and raise my kids, if I ever have any. It's not going to happen, though. But this city makes me feel welcome.
Hmmm, I've heard this MANY times! :wave:
I'm just hoping that Scottish football hits a new low so that I can manage Hearts or something and earn a few quid.
Can it go any lower?
It might, after they hire me.

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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#22 Post by perkana » Thu Nov 26, 2015 11:39 am

farrellgirl99 wrote:
perkana wrote:For me it was New Orleans. I fell in love with that city. For some reason it reminded me of Mexico (the main square looks a lot like any square you would find here), the people were the nicest I've met in the US and the food was delicious. Oh yeah, music everywhere, I loved that.
Same here, Perkana! I've been to NOLA 7 times now and just love it for all the reasons you mentioned. Sweetest people. I would move there in a second but the summer weather gives me pause.

I've lived in Queens my whole life and love it. But NYC is exhausting and too expensive. And the gentrifiers are slowly making their way into deeper parts of Queens and I don't want to see it turned into a whitewashed rich yuppie and hipster playground like Brooklyn. But I think it's inevitable and i should probably leave here before I see my home get taken over.
Another city that made me feel very comfortable was Detroit. But New Orleans won my heart. I agree with others about Berlin, very cosmopolitan.
I totally hear you fg! As much as I love my city, I would love to move somewhere smaller but still cosmopolitan. I'm tired of the commute, traffic, rude people (last night I was spanked by a kid when I was walking around my neighborhood) and the fact that I might see more my friends and family.

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Artemis
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Re: Where we're born, versus where we're supposed to be

#23 Post by Artemis » Sun Nov 29, 2015 5:30 pm

cricket_bows wrote:
Artemis wrote:immigrants from the former Yugoslavia
I'm curious about this- have you been to Yugoslavia? If so, was there any connection, any kind of vibe where there was a strange familiarity? 'Though I know very little about specific Jewish holidays, I've wept when my father has busted out some Hebrew when my folks light a menorah for the holiday; I think some of this stuff is just deeply hardwired in us, regardless of how many generations we're removed from it.
I thought I answered this already; must have done so on the ANR board in my mind. :confused: :lol:

I was pretty young when I went to Yugoslavia with my mother. My visits there were in the 70s and early 80s. The confederation of states known as Yugoslavia has since broken up. Where my parents are from is Skopje,Macedonia(FYROM-Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia).

I can't say I felt any connection there. I think that's because I was really young when I went there and wasn't mature enough to recognize or even articulate something like that. The last time I was there was when I was about 12/13. I guess that would be '79 or '80. If I were to go back now as an adult, I might feel a connection. It was a pretty different world from my life in Canada. Also, I didn't know my relatives or have any connection with them because all of them lived in the "old country".

I have some funny memories from my trips there. My first trip there when I was about 5 or 6, I worried that I would forget how to speak English, because for an entire summer, I had only spoken Macedonian. My mother says that I talked to myself in English to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. :lol:

The Roma(gypsies) scared me. My mom and aunts told me that the gypsies steal children who misbehave. Any time we saw one carrying a large bag/sac type thing, my mom or one of my aunts would say," See. That's a bad boy or girl in there". Needless to say, I was terrified to the point of tears. #fuckedupparenting

On my last visit, one of my cousins decided to take me to a movie, an American movie, so I could understand everything. The movie we went to see was Looking for Mr.Goodbar. Hardly appropriate for a 12 year old! :lol:

The only connection I have to the country and culture is what my parents shared with me growing up here in Canada. Things like language, food, music, folk stories, and superstitious beliefs(my mother). What they passed on to me is their memory of the time in which they grew up(WWII,Communism) and how they lived, what they went through. I think that's pretty normal for most immigrants. Even when things change in their country, they don't want to recognize or accept it. I guess it's the only thing they have of their former life and want to preserve it. :noclue:

Sometimes when I hear Balkan music I get a little teary. It reminds me of the few happy childhood memories I have of my parents together. Every Sunday on the multicultural radio station(CHIN) there was a couple of programs that were in Serbian and Macedonian. I think there was a Croatian one too. Anyway, they would crank the radio, and sing along to the songs and reminisce of the better times in their former country.

Here's one I remember...


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